The Sparkling Grecian Islands

Mykonos, Greece

After five connections, four cities, three different airlines, two full days of traveling, one full day of workers’ strike in Athens and an endless amount of JoJo’s snoring we finally made it to the beautiful island of Mykonos.

From the moment we disembarked our Five Star Ferry Super Jet, the island’s crystal blue waters, warm breeze and bustling city center amazed us. Our hotel, Elysium - The Str8 Friendly Hotel, was equally as charming. Since Mykonos is known as the “Gay Mecca” of the Mediterranean it was only natural for us to exploit our fabulousness to the max… hence, the booking of an all-gay resort. Our suite featured all the usual amenities but the view, witnessed from its deep blue colored balcony, was magnificent. Just picture your typical Greek postcard and that was exactly what we saw for three entire days.

Our favorite bar was Jackie O’ (Yup, you guessed it! This watering hole is named after one of America’s most beloved first ladies – the ever-fashionable Miss Jackie Kennedy Onassis). Jackie O’ is an ocean side intimate lounge made out of coral located at the bottom edge of the cliff. Our bartender Nick (how original) told us that during the summer, gays and their complementing chic female counterparts, or in lamer terms “fag hags” (I personally prefer “fruit flies’’), packs the tiny lounge and spill onto the outside parts of the street. Nevertheless, our Friday and Saturday nights at Jackie O’ were still fun.

So fun that I ended up on top of a table hilariously dancing with a Greek quasi-tranny – ah, I can never turn down a dare! Next door, Babylon Dance Club is also a good time. Picture DJ WTF’s iPod on blast, a great mix of locals, foreigners, a gargantuan Brazilian drag queen and a sprinkle of confused (so they claim) males and bibidi-bibidi-bop you’re set for a wild night out Mykonos style! Lots of cocktails, Ouzo shots, dancing and being asked to strike several poses by – gasp! – said confused tourist, we made our way back up the cliff to our hotel. Who knows - my photo might end up in a cheap rag somewhere or perhaps just remain as another snap inside his memory card filled with memories and hopeless outbursts.The Greek isles are jam packed with tourists from early May to late September, however, Mykonos was still semi alive and kicking throughout our stay in early October and so was its main selling point other than its beaches… its nightlife!

A typical thing to do in Mykonos is to watch its beautiful sunsets while sitting in Little Venice’s (yes, it’s the island’s quaint version of the Italian city) numerous cafés sipping wine or enjoying a Mythos. The famous Greek windmills are nearby and make an important photo op. Even though a little run-down, the windmills still hold their historic beauty and are nice to look at. Unfortunately, the day we decided to make the trip to Super Paradise Beach the weather didn’t agree with our plans. Makes a great excuse to come back though!One thing that is definitely out in the open is the way Greeks love food! And our appetite made a perfect match in this Grecian foodie heaven. Besides the numerous traditional Greek salads, chicken and pork souvlakis, tzasiki plates and more, we have to say our favorite resto was Fish Tavern Kounelas.

Its charming bougainvillea covered courtyard made for an ideal dinner setting. Kounelas is known to have the freshest fish in all of Mykonos and our handpicked grilled sea bass marinated with local herbs, olive oil and lemon truly lived up to the resto’s fame.

The dish’s sliced baked potatoes sprinkled with fennel and white rice were great accompaniments. To our surprise there was a happy ending to our meal – a complimentary phallic shaped glass bottle containing cinnamon flavored Ouzo and two small shot glasses to boot. Happy ending, indeed.

Santorini, Greece

Santorini is known as Greece’s island of romance and love. Hence, it’s mainly filled with newlywed couples, couples getting married, couples with babies or couples on holiday – so if you don’t have a lover, hire an escort or don’t go.

Basically there’s plenty of hetero love to film an obscene amount of Bethany Getting Married?-esque reality shows, but sadly there is big lack of LGBT lovies. In time, I’m sure we’ll come around. A little dash of fabulousness didn’t hurt anyone, right bitches?

Our host hotel in Santorini was Reverie, located in Firostefani only a few minutes away from the island’s capital Fira. Our poolside one-bedroom studio (got a comp upgrade, heeey!) was more than adequate; we even cooked dinner one night. Mind you, the simple meal consisted of wheat pasta, olive oil, sliced Gouda cheese and fresh tomatoes… don’t judge, we’re on a budget here. Our hotel also had a nice view of the Palea and Nea Kameni (Volcano) islets which are an unparalleled testament of beauty, a site of major scientific interest and a protected natural monument – a must do during our visit!

In order to get the Volcano, one needs to make their way down the island to the Old Port and catch a tour boat. There’s three ways to get to the Old Port: take a cable car, ride a donkey or walk down 600+ steps. We chose to be adventurous and do the latter that turned out to be quite unfortunate. The old steps are in all shapes and sizes and are decorated with delightfully smelling donkey poop of well… all shapes and sizes. Too bad that we decided we couldn’t do this anymore half way down. It was late and we were going to miss our boat. So we made do after several “I’m passing out!” moments and reenactments of The Simple Life: Santorini Edition!

Our large wooden sailboat took us to the Volcano and we hiked our way through the entire toured visit. It was quite interesting, specifically because Nea Kameni doesn’t look like your typical pyramid-shaped hole of lava/magma fury. Instead, it’s almost like inside out. This has to do a lot with its shape and surrounding islands. The tour guide divulged enough information to write a 100-page paper on the subject, but a combination of forceful winds, tiredness and a case of serious ADD caused me to stop listening and begin humming Britney’s “Hot as Ice” on loop. I need to revisit my pamphlet on some downtime. If you’re interested, here’s the site: http://ismosav.santorini.net Oh, this said Volcano also is responsible for Santorini’s black sand beaches. Our favorite was Kamari!

After the Volcano, we made our way to the Hot Springs located at Palea Kameni. I was really looking forward to this part of the day trip until the tour guide announced that it was too shallow for the ship to get close the springs. The boat had to anchor about 150 meters away from our warm pool of amazingness and we had to swim our way to it and dive into the really, really cold Mediterranean Ocean. Lets be honest here, I am not the most experienced, graceful swimmer. That and the fact that the water was cold was making me rethink this whole “hot springs” experience, but before I could put my pants back on JoJo had already made his Olympic splash at sea. Never the “Debbie Downer,” I forced myself to follow. In all, I was happy with my decision to brave the waters – the springs felt aaah-mazing! After what seemed an all-day triathlon, we were back on the Old Port. This time, however, it was straight to the cable cars!

The cuisine is the same as Mykonos, obvi. Our favorite restos were Kapari and Mama Thira Taverna which has a marvelous terrace for sunset viewing and mean fried cheese sagalaki – god, it was good! A nearby town called Oia (the o is silent) also makes a great viewing spot and is overflowing with stores, cafés and restos. Since Santorini is also known for its exquisite wine, we spent our nights sipping local brands and just relaxing… something we hadn’t done in a while.

I’m currently writing this entry in our ferry on our way to Athens. We’ll be there until Sunday. My entire body aches because both of these islands were like two giant Stair Masters – I’ve got buns of steel now! Here’s to many more memories in Athens!

Funny side note: Lady Gaga was in Mykonos and Santorini during the same time we were. Birds of a feather flock together!

Diamond Tips:

• Almost everyone in Greece knows English. No language barriers there, lovies!
• Daily ferries are still available daily in October even though it’s not season. Both regular and high-speed boats are offered depending on your preference, but obvi, the faster your ferry, the quicker you arrive to your destination. So we chose the high-speed for that reason and partly because we were sick of traveling and JoJo hyperventilates on demand every 30 minutes and also suffers from an alleged seasickness. Regular boats are usually around 30 Euros and high-speed jets are 50 Euros plus.
• While in Mykonos, make sure to visit the city’s best sandbox – Super Paradise Beach! Take a bus from the town for a 1.40 Euro to Paradise Beach. Then take a small boat to Super Paradise Beach. A seaside Eden awaits… so we’ve heard.
• Over the past few years, Santorini has been trying to attract younger singles looking for fun by opening bars and nightclubs in Fira, but it still doesn’t even mildly compare to its wild sister, Mykonos.